How to be "Macho"

A simple walk in Ecuador is not like a simple walk in the United States. A simple walk here involves all the senses. You feel the jagged, uneven sidewalks through the soles of your shoes. You taste the pollution in the air. You smell the pan wafting from the bakeries....sometimes you catch a wiff of other not so pleasant aromatic wonders. You see the colors of the streets, the people of the city, the curious eyes boring into your face. And, most of all, you hear the men call to you. Almost without fail, if you pass a man on the street, they will say something.

Sometimes these comments are original (I especially enjoyed the man who called after us "SOY LATINO!" Really? A latino man in Ecuador? Now that's something you don't see every day). Most often, however, they are the same ole cat calls. Because, 9 times out of 10, these comments are redundant and lacking in originality points, I can only come to one conclusion: these boys must be taught from an early age, when they are only niños, the top ten ways to greet a gringa. Here are the top 5:

1) Preciosas: "Preciouses"- in English, this sounds creepy- like, why is Gollum hitting on me? Here, it's just kind of like, "What up, cutie?"

2) Ssss ssss sss- I like to think that this is saying that we're "sizzlin,'" but more likely it just means that they're too lazy to open their mouths.

3) Honk, honk- this one is pretty universal. I DO, however, give you extra points if you also lean out of the window and wink at us.

4) Heeeeeelllo. How aaaahrr jhu?- I appreciate when they use us to try out their English. Way to take the initiative in furthering your education. I give extra points to the man who yesterday said "Gooood Ahfternoooooons." However, I subtract points from him because he was really old and creepily wiggled his eyebrows at us.

5) Que bonitas- a simple classic meaning "How beautiful." And, come on, every girl likes hearing

that, right? Even if the only reason they are saying it is because they're trippin' over my pasty, excuse me, fair complexion.

Because, after a week or so, these same five comments become a bit mundane, we are creating a game: Gringa Bingo.

The rules are simple; each Gringa has their own Bingo card with the standard Gringa cat calls, and some rarer phrases. The gringa must simply mark off the ones she receives during the day. When she filled in a row or column she must shout "GRINGA" (yes, this will call attention to herself, but the jig is kind of up for the whole anonymity thing) and then bask in the great feeling of being a rare import, cuz she sure won't be considered "exotic" back in the states...or most other countries.

R juicing the oranges for our "Fruit salad for drinking and eating." Between the two of us, we juiced 25 oranges. In this pic, R juices, G looks on while L and K work the cam.

The incredible Basilica...I can't get enough of it. It's my narcotic.

Otavalo- wonder of wonders, marketplace, of marketplaces.

Pocos fotos

H loves Quito...when its crafty thieves aren't stealing her shtuff.

Noxious gases

Ahhh, the trole (that's a trolley for you northern hemisphere folk). It's a love/hate relationship. I love it because it's easy to figure out (unlike those tricky busses), it's cheap (only 25 cents!), and I feel pretty chevere (cool) and travel saavy when I'm taking it...almost like a real Ecuatorian...then I look at my untanned skin, blatantly obvious "tourist shoes" and see the other people gawking at me and the jig is up, but still. When do I hate the trole? When the trole men make an "Em corndog" out of me and I greatly fear that someone will steal my glucometer (diabetes shtuff). Yesterday I subtracted another point from the trole when, while attempting to not to get on one of those news reports where people are stampled to death, a noxious gas dissipated through the air. It burned the nose, caused the eyes to water, and made the throat raw in a second. "Close the windows!" the trole driver urgently pleaded (except in Spanish, of course). The children started to wail. Grown men were gagging and holding their noses as if they were second graders who had just "passed gas". There was much weeping and gnashing of teeth. What was this noxious gas? The world may never know....I guess I can't really blame it on the trole...the people outside were struggling as well...actually...it could have been from pollution, in which case, the trolebus, as public transportation, is helping to eliminate this problem. Okay, I will give back the point that I had previously taken away from the trole and give it one more point for being eco-friendly. After all...I'm all about going green.

?Aburrida en Ecuador? ?De veras?

It is 9:30 on a Saturday morning. At home I would be getting ready for a full day of working at the quilt store. Here I woke up at 6:20, because I can't sleep past then, and then forced myself to lie in bed until I fell asleep again. I managed to do that, which didn't happen last Sunday, and slept until 9. I headed upstairs to have breakfast and R and I had the tipical, "So....what are we gonna do today?" Discussion. We have NO idea.
At home, I rarely have a free minute. I'm pretty non-stop. Even in the summer, somehow, I end up with very few "down"moments. Here, down moments are like men's comments on the street, you can't really avoid them. When we came here last summer, every minute was planned. Between classes, homework, and any activities in the city, we were booked. Weekends were always filled with trips to some part of Ecuador or another. This time...there are no trips. We could take trips to other parts of Ecuador on our own...but that would mean spending money....which we don't have. I don't go on trips every weekend in the States, but I have work...and a campus full of friends is just 5 minutes away.
Yesterday, at a Plaza close to our house, I was really close to just chatting with one of the PDA obsessed couples just to make some friends. I love meeting people...it's maybe my favorite thing. I pray for squads of people to come into the Academia so I can meet them. I look expectantly at any of the taxi drivers we've had, hoping to strike up a conversation.
So what DID I do this week? Well, the best day was definetely Wednesday. There was a Liga (the futbol team here, or, for you Yanks, the soccer team) game against Bolivia which we watched while having some "ron y coke" (Cuba Libres, here) with our teachers in the auditorium of our school. A little bit different than what happens on game afternoons at regular college.
We bought our tickets to Colombia and Panama too. After much searching and some problems with Kayak, we are now officially jet setting in October. Research about Panama seems to paint it as a utopian society, so the pressure's on for it to live up to its expectations.
We also boaught another season of "How I Met Your Mother"...which we are obsessed with. There are rip-off DVD stores on every street. This is dangerous because watching DVDs is a very good way to pass the time. Plus, any movie that you've had any interest in seeing is right there, cheaper than is would be to rent it. I really must stop, though. None of you will get any souvenirs if I keep buying "Hannah Montana" seasons. Just kidding. I haven't bought any Disney channel products....yet.

"Life Lessons"

The overwhelming purpose of my trip here is to learn, or rather better learn, Spanish. However, already in the first week I have learned life lessons that will stay with me far beyond what any irregular conjugation will.

Things I've learned in my first week:
1) How to order a taxi to pick you up at your home and take you to Otavalo.
2) How to take the bus back from Otovalo at a fourth of the taxi price.
3) How to change your traveler's checks at a futuristic bank where you talk to the teller via video and phone.
4) How to become best friends with the owner of an empenada store (he even let's us "watch the store) while he quickly does an errand or two and gives us free tea. He doesn't even call us preciosas or princesas, so he wins my award for "Most Gentile Man in Ecuador")
5) How to make sure a taxi doesn't rip you off for your lack of melanin (make them use taxi metro- the taxi meter- that or barter your way down and look like you're prepared to walk for hours...which you might be.)
6) How to make friends with two old guys at a blues bar.
7) How to eat for 60 cents a day...including a cookie.

Numbers 4 and 6 are really the most important, no?

H has left us. It will be weird not having her here since she's been with us the whole time until now. I hope we sent her out in style. Her last day we went to Otovalo, took the last form of transportation that she had left (bus) and went to a blues bar. And NONE of us got mugged! (Picture a really cheesy smiling face with two thumbs up). I was planning on sleeping most of the day today, but my Ecuatorian schedule has messed that up for me as well. This week R and I might have a competition for spending the least amount of money. It'll probably end up equal since we do the same things, but she has a love for Oreos that cannot be quenched and I have the same problem with Coca-Cola Zero. What ya gonna do?

I've thought of having a theme for this blog, perhaps replicating different famous "bloggers" or diary writers. Doogie Howser one day, Bridget Jones the next, and Mary Chesnut (the famous diary writer featured in Ken Burns' civil war documentary). Unfortunately, some of you might not appreciate making up fake Mary Chesnut quotes as much as I do. Also, a LOT has happened in this first week and I think that themed blogs are better on a smaller scale. So here is my life as of the first week in Ecuador.

Sunday: Leave from first airport at around 7. My friend H met me and R at the airport, she's here for the week. After a layover in Texas, we headed overseas and, around midnight, arrived at our host house.

Monday: Wake up around 6:30 to get all ready because we have a 40 minute walk to school. (with all this walking, if I'm not flaca by the time I get back, I'll eat a llama). The first day was rough. My teacher could have been speaking Hindi and I would have gotten about the same amount of comprehension out of it. At this point I'm thinking, "Blast, what have I gotten myself into?"

The afternoon was better. H, who had been chillin in the school office, met up with us and we went downtown and showed her a few key tourist places: La Compania (supposedly the most beautiful church in Latin America), la Plaza de Independencia, la Plaza de San Francisco, etc. Then we headed back and chilled at our host family's place. Our host family is extremely nice and we're extremely spoiled. We get our meals served to us and our rooms cleaned. I feel like a snobby tourist...or Rick Steves. There is a neat couple here at the same time as us. He's working on his dissertation and she's learning the language while working with her job in the states. They've traveled everywhere, so meals are always interesting.

Tuesday: H went to La Mitad del Mundo (the equator line) while R and I studied more. Second day was a LOT better. I felt like I actually had studied the language before. Then we headed to La Fundacion de Guayasamin (a museum of THE painter of Ecuador. If you hear "painter" and "Ecuador" on Jeopardy, the question is "Who is Guayasamin?" I get 10 percent of whatever you wagered if that's your daily double and you win because of it). We met a guy from Michigan who was giving tours there. Crazy how being "from the states" is a connection over here. Then we walked back. Uffda.

Wednesday: H went to el Teleferiqo (the gandolas that take you to the top of Pichincha- the volcano- for an incredible view). She walked all the way there and back...in a foreign city...where she doesn't really know the language. Basically, she rocked it. In the afternoon we went to la Basilica....and H's wallet got stolen. We should have waited for another trole (trolley, in Ingles). We had waited a few because they were all so full, but then thought we should get on one. H got separated from us and someone cut her bag open and got the wallet that was buried deep inside. I should have gotten her. Those guys are professional thieves and unless you have somebody watching your bag with you, it's impossible to prevent it. Anyways, we still went to the Basilica and climbed the towers. You can get right out on the turrets and could quite easily fall to your death...or something close to that. Then, hating the trole, we got a taxi and I got to barter for the first time in a year (bartering is my passion). She got everything cancelled, but she's still thinking of everthing she needs to replace. In the evening we went to a great little shopping plaza with some excellent people watching.

Thursday: The us(ual) with classes. I actually formed somewhat complex sentences, so I was feeling better about the whole "you want to teach Spanish?" thing. Unfortunately, H got mugged again. She was just reading in a park when people threw stuff on her (some sort of fruit juice, we think) and then, while trying to "help her clean up" stole her bag. The activities organizer, A, came to my classroom and said, "Something's happened to H" and I thought she got hit by a car or worse. I was relieved to here she was "just" mugged. It's really my fault. Quito is fine if you are with others, but even the locals get robbed. I wish we could've left a week earlier just so she wouldn't have had to travel alone in the mornings while we studied.
We did our usual 60 cent lunch: An empenada from the little hole in the wall restaurant next door (there are a ton of those here- they're great) and a cookie from the bakery on the corner. Incredible. Then we got tickets from a taxi agency so we can go to Otovalo today (a GIANT marketplace) and headed back to do hours of homework.

Friday: My crap day in Spanish. Felt like I couldn't conjugate basic verbs. Unfortunate. All the students had presentations on different Ecuadorian cities. I lucked out and got Quito. Each city has a hymn that we all got to sing. Our teachers are crazy so it was pretty fun to get into "la musica". We returned to our house and later on got pan de yucca and yogur de mora. H needed to try it. It's a fav.

Saturday: Right now I'm sitting in my bed after not being able to get back to sleep at 6:30. We're heading out to Otavalo in a bit where I can get my barter on. I'm STOKED.

Sorry for the long post, but other weeks will probably be a lot shorter...and a lot less interesting. H was a good motivation to get us out of the house and reacquaint ourselves with the city.

Hasta luego!
Em